Patience

I had to give a talk at church this week.  I wanted to save it to reference later.  I decided my journal can be more helpful to me than I thought.  I need to do better.

Brother Skinner called me this week asking if I would speak. I had mixed feelings on the phone.  I love the learning process.  I love what I gain from speaking and writing talks.  I don’t like to speak.  Then he told me to look at come follow me. How to be more Christlike.  I can  pick my topic.  This won’t be too hard.  I looked at all the topics and Patience popped out at me.  Ahhh.  That is a bad word patience.  I am not good at that.  Of course that would be the one I pick.  Why because I apparently need some work in this area.  So here is what I learned and hopefully it can help you to.

Patience.  What does patience mean?  Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said, “Dictionaries define patience in such terms as bearing pain or sorrow calmly or without complaint; not being hasty or impetuous; being steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity.” Patience is a very difficult attribute to develop in our lives—mainly because it can take a long time with a difficult experience. And while many could think that being patient is simply passively waiting for the Lord to grant us blessings or circumstances that we desire, it is actually a very active pursuit toward a goal, mentally and spiritually.

We can find all kinds of stories in the Bible and Book of Mormon with examples of patience.The Lord’s Way and Time  Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Continue in Patience,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2010

The children of Israel waited 40 years in the wilderness before they could enter the promised land. Jacob waited 7 long years for Rachel. The Jews waited 70 years in Babylon before they could return to rebuild the temple. The Nephites waited for a sign of Christ’s birth, even knowing that if the sign did not come, they would perish. Joseph Smith’s trials in Liberty Jail caused even the prophet of God to wonder, “How long?”     In each case, Heavenly Father had a purpose in requiring that His children wait.We must learn that in the Lord’s plan, our understanding comes “line upon line, precept upon precept.  In short, knowledge and understanding come at the price of patience.

Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness.

How many of us can look back on a trial we have experienced and see what we learned.  I know I can.  Sometimes I can see it immediately and sometimes I can’t see it till years later but I can see it.  I can see the growth, I can see the strength I gained.  I can see an increase of patience.  I can truly say (after the trial is over of course.) That I am grateful for that trial.  I truly am.  I wouldn’t give up the things I have learned over the years for anything.  I am grateful for the person God is helping me become and all of the trials, and difficult times are what have helped me get this far.  How can I not be grateful for that.  I can look back at the person I was 20 years ago and the person I am now and see incredible growth.  Do I like having to go through trials? No but, that is what I signed up for when I chose to come here.  I can wallow in it or I can find a way to be positive.

Background from Dominick’s infection.

Job

I had a blessing recently. I asked for it to help me with all of the emotion that I have been feeling. In the blessing the Lord told me I needed to figure out what I needed to learn from this trial. Only then would I be able to really let go and move forward. At the time I was thinking...my son was in the hospital for 11 days, I haven't ever been so scared in my life that I might lose one of my kids, I have hospital bills coming out of my ears...we are up to $40,000.00 before insurance, I lost my baby right in the middle of all this happening, what exactly was the lesson in all of this? I had a pretty good life before all of this happened. I mean I have said all along I am truly grateful that this happened in Utah and not here because my family was there to lift the burden. I don't think I am ungrateful but seriously...what was I supposed to learn from this???

Today I went to church. Simple I know, but I normally am in nursery with my son. Today I got to go to Sunday school. I haven't been there for a long time. When I do get to go I find it is the one class I really struggle to understand. I always feel behind and I really don't feel like I walk away with anything. Today was different. Today the lesson was on Job. The simplified version by Shelly is...Job was a wealthy man. Actually the scriptures imply that he was the most wealthy man. He loved the Lord and was faithful on top of being wealthy. Then the trials came. Satan didn't think that Job would stay faithful after he lost all of his wealth. God took the wealth away, his family away, his servants away. Satan thought that Job would curse God if all of that were gone. Job said "God giveth and God taketh away." God continued to allow the trials to come. His health was taken from him and he was in so much pain he wanted to die. Even his wife told him to curse God and die. He didn't. Why did all of this need to happen? Here is where it got really emotional for me. God knew that Job would remain faithful. The trial wasn't to prove to God he would remain faithful. The trial was to prove to Job that Job would remain faithful to God. Job went through all of this so that he could see the strength God knew he had. This is what I needed to learn. God knows that I have strength. He knows I am a faithful person. He knows that I can do amazing things. I needed to learn that I have all of these things. I needed to see that even though this is a lot to handle, that I can stay faithful and that I can get through it.

My Dad always makes the comment to me..."Shelly, you always seem to just roll through stuff." Stuff meaning trials. My Dad doesn't use the word trial. We disagree on a lot of things, but there is one thing I have learned. I have learned that I "roll through stuff" because of my faith, because of the strength that I have gained through each of these trials that I have had. This one is no exception. I have gained strength. I didn't curse God when my husband had to go to the Emergency room after Dominick and I had already had hospital stays. I didn't curse God when Dominick had to go back to the hospital after we had just gotten home. I never thought of not going to church as being an option. I love my faith. I love the Lord. I love this Gospel. I am so grateful to have it in my life to give me strength. I am so grateful to feel every time I walk into church that I am in the right place. And I am eternally grateful that the Lord knows exactly what I need to hear and helps those planning lessons to say just the right thing I need to hear the way I need to hear it. I am who I am because of what I believe and the trials that I have had, and I am truly grateful for my trials. I love my family and I am grateful to have a home filled with the spirit. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

When I think of patience...I think of trials, long suffering and finally the light at the end of the tunnel.  I think of my children wanting something right now,  My Dad frustrated because the car in front of him is moving too slow.  My husband trying to get used to the craziness that is our home after being in a quiet hotel room for a week.  I think of  when my son comes and says Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy and continues till I stop doing what I was doing or Shawn says Shelly would you please answer your son because I have tuned him out without realizing it.  My point in telling you this is we all have things in our lives that require us to learn patience.  It isn’t going away.  Patience is a Godly virtue.  We have to learn it.  We need it and if you look back at your life, we gain more and more with each passing day.

As President Thomas S. Monson said, ‘The future is as bright as your faith.”

Faith is a verb. It is actively putting into practice the things we believe in our hearts. When our patience is tested in unpleasant circumstances, it is our faith that will save us. We are told in the scriptures that there must be “an opposition in all things. If not so, … righteousness could not be brought to pass.” The prophet Alma in the Book of Mormon said that “ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience.” The righteous opposition we can bring to a negative experience can be our faithful selves. If we choose to diligently seek God and continue developing our own testimonies, times that try our patience will end up strengthening our faith.

I know personally that rings true for me.  Every time my patience is tried my Faith gains so much strength. I know that I have learned so much but I also know I have so much more to learn.  I know that I am stronger than 20 years ago but I look forward to the person I will be in 20 years.  The biggest thing I am grateful for is that I have the most amazing children. The most wonderful husband and the best friends I have ever had to join me on this journey of learning and growth.  I am truly grateful to be home.  I am so grateful for the people I have met.  The friendships I have gained. The support I have.  The joy I see in my family.  I have the best life and seriously the best calling with kids that put a smile on my face even on the worst day.  I love this gospel.  I know this is the true church.  I don’t have any doubts. I am so blessed. I am so grateful.  I am so grateful to be a member of this church.  

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen