I am truly blessed!

I found out recently that I was going to have another baby. I was really nervous even thought this was a planned pregnancy. I talked to Shawn and we chose not to say anything for a while. I wasn't sure how long I was going to keep it to myself but I just wasn't ready to talk about it. I was excited but I had so much emotion attached to the pregnancy that I needed time to sort through it.

Weeks went by and I started to get more and more comfortable with the idea. I decided to wait until after my first appointment to tell everyone. I wanted to hear the heartbeat and that to me would be enough to finally let everyone in on my news. My appointment was February 7Th. I went in with excitement to hear my baby's heartbeat. My doctor pulled out the microphone and started to look for my baby. She wasn't able to find the heartbeat but she wasn't able to the last time I was pregnant. My babies always hide the first time so I wasn't really worried I was sure she would find it eventually. She decided for me and my sanity that she would send me in for an ultrasound. This way they could see the baby and I could see the heartbeat and everyone would be happy. Unfortunately this was not the case. I was 10 weeks and the baby didn't have a heartbeat. This hit me like a brick. I wasn't expecting this answer. I honestly thought things would be different this time. I just sat there in shock. I was alone. I didn't have anyone there with me. Shawn was on a trip and I didn't think to ask anyone to come with me.

I called Shawn and told him to which he called in so he could come home to be with me. My friend Ali was watching Dominick for me so I called her to let her know and went home to cry. I was mad! Mad that I had to go through the blood tests already. Mad that this happened again and mad that I was alone again! Ali was so sweet to keep Dominick the rest of the day and bring in dinner. My ward all rallied around and set up dinner for the next couple of days.

The next day was OK. I did a little better but still hadn't started my miscarriage. This made me nervous because of what happened last time. I carried the baby for 3 weeks before it started.

Wednesday became the day from hell. I started bleeding, but it wasn't normal bleeding. I have had 2 other miscarriages. I was expecting the kind of bleeding from before. A heavy period. This was different. I was bleeding in a steady stream. I was passing fist size clots. I couldn't keep up. I called my doctor and she told me this was normal for 2 hours. Sure enough after 2 hours it stopped. It all calmed down and I seemed to be fine. I told Shawn to go to work that day. I thought things were under control.

That night about 2 am I woke up to the heavy bleeding and clots from hell again. I tried to work with it but it was getting worse. I called my doctor and explained that I was alone and I didn't want to call someone unless it was really necessary. She gave me some things to do to help but told me to watch it closely and call if it didn't stop. The things she told me to do seemed to work so I went back to bed and fell asleep. When my alarm went off at 6am to get the girls up, I woke up in a pool of blood. I got up and cleaned myself up and went out to get the girls ready for school. I started making breakfast. Pancakes...and seriously this is when I lost my mind. I was mixing the batter. I started feeling sick to my stomach. I kept mixing thinking I would just get them off to school and go back to bed. While trying to cook them I got light headed and fell to the floor. I tried to keep getting up to continue but every time I did I fell to the floor again. When the girls came upstairs they took over and I went to the couch to lay down. I knew something was wrong so I tried to get back to my bedroom where I could call the doctor again. I fell 2 more times on the way down the hall. Something was wrong. She said to get to the Hospital now. I got off with her and called a friend to come and get me.

Amber came about 15 min later and took me to the hospital. There things got progressively worse. They tried many different things to help me and to stop the bleeding but nothing worked. I was very sick to my stomach and any time I stood up it would make me so dizzy I would almost faint even while laying down. I got so sick at one point I started throwing up. Amber came and rubbed my back and held my hair. I am still in awe at what she did for me that day. It was her Birthday and she should have been out having fun but instead she was in the hospital rubbing my back and hold my hair while I was throwing up. She sacrificed her Birthday for me. She never left me. She kept saying " I wouldn't want to be alone. I am not leaving you." She called my parents and let them know what was going on, she held my hand, and stood by me all day. I am so grateful for what she did. I didn't want to be alone.

While all of this was happening the doctors decided that I needed surgery. They prepped me and took me right in. They did a D&C. After surgery they had to give me a transfusion due to my blood loss. They pumped 2 bags I think pints back into my body. Then they hooked me up to Oxygen and place me on bed rest for the rest of the day. I had several visitors. I had a blessing from Ryan Ellefsen. It was amazing and gave me a lot of peace.

At home my kids were trying to get each other ready for the day. I had several ward members that jumped into action. I had people coming to take my kids to school, take care of Dominick and even dinners set up for the rest of the week. Ali bought a cake because it was Brittin's Birthday too. This was really thoughtful because Brittin came home crying because she was alone on her Birthday. Ali took the cake over to Ciara's house (Brittin's Beehive adviser) Who very quickly bought gifts and contacted as many girls as she could to put together a party for Brittin. I am in tears just remembering the thoughtfulness. She was so excited when they showed up with Balloons and cake and gifts. This meant so much to Brittin.

I am in awe of all of the people that took the time to think about and cover every detail of needs for my family. My heart is truly full of gratitude and admiration and love for all that stepped up and showed Christlike service and love to my family. I don't know what I did to deserve all that I received but I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such wonderful friends. Thank you to all of you and I love you all so much.