catching up

well a lot has happened since the last time I have written. I ended up losing the baby so we have decided not to have anymore. I think the biggest reason for this decision is because its very dangerous for me. It is hard for me to carry the baby its hard the entire pregnancy. It is difficult on my body. We  both feel that this is what needs to happen. We need to focus on our children that we have and be grateful for what we have.  So  in doing that we are moving forward and enjoying life with the family that we have here. Shawn  did get his upgrade and we are excited about that.  It has been hard though because his schedule is very crazy. He's gone a lot.  He  missed Christmas this year. We  are hoping that this will be the only year though.
My calling is going well. I'm the assistant to the Secretary. I do struggle with some of it. I don't feel like I have a voice but I know the Lord wants me there so I am trying to do what he asked me to do.

 I am trying to attend the temple more often and trying to build my spirituality up so that I can get back to where I need to be. The  Lord has promised me that if I Center myself spiritually and everything else will fall into place so that's what I'm counting on.

I do love being here. I am so happy to be close to family I'm happy to be home. I feel more comfortable in Utah. I'm hoping that we won't ever have to leave again. I enjoy the people in my ward I've made friends here. I love going to visit my parents and my family. I feel a closer connection to my parents and I believe that  is because I have been away for so long that I see them in a different light now.

I have made some new years resolutions for myself 1.  I am hoping to get more spiritually centered. I am planning to attend the temple as often as I can. I am hoping with this new schedule that Chloe has that this will give me the opportunity to go once a week. I'm going to try. 2.  I'm going to try and be more healthy in the way that I eat and treat my body. I'm not asking to lose 80 pounds but I am asking to try and get back to feeling healthy and having more energy.  So I'm starting with the temple and praying. 3.  I'm trying to read my scriptures every night. I am hoping that if I begin this way that the other things will fall into place the way they  have been
 promised.  So all in all I think things are going well. we've made a promise to her kids that if we read the scriptures every single day for an entire month that we will go out to dinner with them to the restaurant of their choosing. So far so good.  We're on day three and we've done it all three days so hopefully we can keep it going all month. They  seem to be very excited about it.  They look forward to scripture reading every day. We are trying to improve on our praying as a family and I'm trying to improve my own personal prayers. Shawn  told me that he is praying for one of our children each day so I decided to try it myself. I feel that my prayers are a little bit more focused and in depth than  they have been in the past. I'm hoping that I will be able to continue to make that happen. I do love this gospel I just struggle to keep it where it should be. I'm hoping that I can pull myself back where I need to be so that I can feel the spirit around me more often. Our children are such a good example to me. They read their scriptures every day. They strive to do what they're supposed to do. Because  of that I feel that I should be showing them that I am doing those things too.  So I am following their example and doing what they are already doing. I am so grateful to have them in my life. I'm so grateful to have my my husband in my life. He's such a wonderful person. I wish there was a way to tell him how much I love him. I hope that he knows.