Job

I had a blessing recently. I asked for it to help me with all of the emotion that I have been feeling. In the blessing the Lord told me I needed to figure out what I needed to learn from this trial. Only then would I be able to really let go and move forward. At the time I was thinking...my son was in the hospital for 11 days, I haven't ever been so scared in my life that I might lose one of my kids, I have hospital bills coming out of my ears...we are upto $40,000.00 before insurance, I lost my baby right in the middle of all this happening, what exactly was the lesson in all of this? I had a pretty good life before all of this happened. I mean I have said all along I am truly grateful that this happened in Utah and not here because my family was there to lift the burden. I don't think I am ungrateful but seriously...what was I supposed to learn from this???

Today I went to church. Simple I know, but I normally am in nursury with my son. Today I got to go to Sunday school. I haven't been there for a long time. When I do get to go I find it is the one class I really struggle to understand. I always feel behind and I really don't feel like I walk away with anything. Today was different. Today the lesson was on Job. The simplified version by Shelly is...Job was a wealthy man. Actually the scriptures imply that he was the welthiest man. He loved the Lord and was faithful on top of being wealthy. Then the trials came. Satan didn't think that Job would stay faithful after he lost all of his wealth. God took the wealth away, his family away, his servants away. Satan thought that Job would curse God if all of that were gone. Job said "God giveth and God taketh away." God continued to allow the trials to come. His health was taken from him and he was in so much pain he wanted to die. Even his wife told him to curse God and die. He didn't. Why did all of this need to happen? Here is where it got really emotional for me. God knew that Job would remain faithful. The trial wasn't to prove to God he would remain faithful. The trial was to prove to Job that Job would remain faithful to God. Job went through all of this so that he could see the strength God knew he had. This is what I needed to learn. God knows that I have strength. He knows I am a faithful person. He knows that I can do amazing things. I needed to learn that I have all of these things. I needed to see that even though this is a lot to handle, that I can stay faithful and that I can get through it.

My Dad always makes the comment to me..."Shelly, you always seem to just roll through stuff." Stuff meaning trials. My Dad doesn't use the word trial. We disagree on a lot of things, but there is one thing I have learned. I have learned that I "roll through stuff" because of my faith, because of the strength that I have gained through each of these trials that I have had. This one is no exception. I have gained strength. I didn't curse God when my husband had to go to the Emergency room after Dominick and I had already had hospital stays. I didn't curse God when Dominick had to go back to the hospital after we had just gotten home. I never thought of not going to church as being an option. I love my faith. I love the Lord. I love this Gospel. I am so grateful to have it in my life to give me strength. I am so grateful to feel every time I walk into church that I am in the right place. And I am eternally grateful that the Lord knows exactly what I need to hear and helps those planning lessons to say just the right thing I need to hear the way I need to hear it. I am who I am because of what I believe and the trials that I have had, and I am truly grateful for my trials. I love my family and I am grateful to have a home filled with the spirit. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.