Difficult Day

Today was hard.  I got a call the pulmonary test I had last week.  I was told they found a blockage in my lungs.  The feel it is from a disease called connective tissue.  The nurse explained that there is tissue that keeps everything in place.  The tissue connected to my lungs have what they think is scar tissue preventing my lungs from being able to expand.  They are sending me to a pulmonary specialist.  They also want a CT scan to see how severe the scaring is.  From what I have read this goes hand in hand with Lupus.  I mentioned to my mom and after a few non personal questions I got keep us posted.  I think I am more upset that my family is not more vested in my life.  Right now if this were to get more serious (I don't think it will) I would actually be offended if they took interest then.  I am angry at my mom.  I am angry that she didn't even call today to get the information from me instead of text.  I am mad that her response to the info was you are a mess shell.  I want her to listen.  To care.  To let me vent.  I can handle this but I am beginning to feel like this is my new normal.  That is a little tough today.  I was really hoping that this would be curable but the more I read and talk to others that have it, it sounds like it is debilitating.  I can do this with support but even with this information I just don't feel like I will get that from my family.  I do have Shawn and my kids.  I am truly grateful for that.  Shawn has been so good to me.  He is such a wonderful person and I am so lucky and grateful he is in my life.  I couldn't do this without him. I thank the Lord every night for him and his understanding heart.